He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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