"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
