I need to stop coming to work sober
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
