You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize