he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We named our party play list daddy issues
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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