Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
