Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
