and she was petting her beer can
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
