was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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