Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
