Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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