Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
