I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
