Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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