I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
