Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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