Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
