I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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