my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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