I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
