I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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