Dual....:-)
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
