A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
