the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
