Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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