I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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