I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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