just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ugly people sure do ruin things
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
