The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
