Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I don't think brook has ever known best
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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