seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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