i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
