Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
my poor anus
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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