Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
