Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
