You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize
