Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
