Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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