I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
