I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my being single is dangerous.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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