The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
