I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
