who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
