I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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