i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
