what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
