No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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