i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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