Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Congratulations! We have a period
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