That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize