How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
