sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
