I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
