Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
