Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Come see our sink grown plant.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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