I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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