A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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