The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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