they need to just BURY HIM!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
