I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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