Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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